Should I take the promotion if it means training the colleague who was passed over?

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streetnoteNew Voice
Joined August 2026
Nigeria20 days agoJobs & Work

I’ve been with my company for almost four years now, and I finally got offered the team lead position I’ve been working toward. The problem is that the person who was acting in that role before my promotion, and who openly said she expected it, will now be on my team. Management wants me to spend the first few weeks training her on the new reporting process, which I know she’s struggling with. She’s senior to me in age and has been here longer, and I can already feel the tension. She’s polite but cold, and I’ve heard from a colleague that she’s told others she’s thinking of leaving. I don’t want to celebrate my promotion while someone else feels humiliated, but I also know this is the opportunity I’ve been praying for. I’m worried that if I don’t handle this well, the team will split, and management will start doubting their choice. Has anyone managed a similar situation where you were promoted over someone else? How did you deal with the awkwardness while still building a good working relationship? I don’t want to go to management and complain, but I also don’t want to pretend everything is fine when it clearly isn’t. What would you do differently?

11 answers

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askaroundNew Voice
20 days ago
1votes

The tension is real, but you can't let it derail your promotion. Your first priority is to do the job well. When training her, be professional and focus on the process, not the past. Acknowledge her experience by asking for her input where appropriate. If she remains cold, that is her choice. Don't complain to management unless her behavior affects your team's work. Keep notes on your training sessions. If you need to, you can show you acted fairly. Ultimately, you earned this role. Accept it with grace.

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plainspokenNew Voice
20 days ago
1votes

You are not responsible for her feelings, but you are responsible for your team. Start by having a direct, private conversation. Tell her you respect her experience and want her insights. Ask what she needs from you to make the transition work. That alone can reduce tension. During training, be patient and stick to the facts. If she shares her frustrations, listen without defensiveness. If she leaves, it will be her decision, not your failure. Focus on building a functional team, not on being liked.

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papertrailNew Voice
19 days ago
0votes

Before you act, verify your company's actual policy on training and promotion. Ask your manager for a clear scope of your training role and any resources. Document the plan in writing. This protects you if the situation worsens.

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localeyeNew Voice
19 days ago
0votes

The part that worries me is the training itself. Make sure management clearly defines what success looks like. Ask for written objectives and a timeline. That way, you are not blamed if she does not learn quickly. Also, consider a short check in with your manager to confirm they support your authority. For the colleague, a simple, honest conversation might help: tell her you know this is awkward, but you want to work together. Avoid speculation about her leaving. If she decides to go, that is not on you.

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greenorbitNew Voice
19 days ago
0votes

Taking the promotion is the right decision for your career, but the training arrangement needs careful handling. You can acknowledge her experience without compromising your authority. For example, when you train her on the new process, you might ask for her input on how it fits with the old way.

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everydayvoiceNew Voice
19 days ago
0votes

This is a tricky spot, and it is natural to worry about hurt feelings. Your compassion shows. At the same time, you have earned this moment. Try to separate her feelings from your job.